Progress

Today is Monday.  This past Friday, we went out to the legion to hang out with friends and have a couple of drinks.  I went slow on my drink, but somehow it gave me a terrible brain freeze.  It felt like one at least.  I slowed down and sipped on it, and still it was bad.  I took a break and didn't have a drink for an hour or a bit longer.  I had another drink and it did the same, I drank it at a usual pace, it still hurt my head.  Not a headache, but more of a brain freeze.  I had a ginger ale and then we went home.  The head thing dissipated, but I still didn't feel like a drink when we got home.   That is unusual for me.  I went to bed and tried to watch a movie as usual, but I just wanted to rest, and went to sleep.  That also is unusual.  I usually have a hard time falling asleep, sometimes I am up till midnight, just trying to sleep.  Then I would be up around 3, and awake for about an hour.  i try to sleep, really.
Now with this medication I sleep a little better.  Still wake up in the middle of the night, but I can fall asleep better.

Sunday we went to Tod and Kelly's house. I had some light wine and mixed it with Sierra Mist.  I didn't get brain freeze.  I had one cup of sangria at the end of the night, and I felt the brain freeze coming on, but I stopped drinking then and had soda.  When we got home, again..  I tried to watch a movie (habit) and had to turn it off and sleep.

My dreams are entertaining, different, so many things going on.  Most of them have meaning to me.  Like a patchwork quilt of highlights of life blended into an absurd story.  I forget most of it though and only remember pieces when I wake up. I used to remember it all, but since I got back in 2007 I keep dreaming stressful dreams or sad ones.  Lately it has not been so bad.

I don't feel that much different, maybe a tiny amount of being a bit more alive.  As if I was watching TV in black and white all this time, and now I see glimmers of colors in there.  Almost like an illusion or mirage.

I am so tired today, but it's been a long day.  We had to go to a funeral this morning, (Tony).  After that, to the legion and I went with KK to the store to bring pizza back for the legion.  After a soda, we went grocery shopping.  Then to organize groceries and go get a movie.  I came home I was so tired I didn't even want to eat.  I laid on the couch to watch the movie.  After that, I made myself get up and make icecream.  Dwight cleaned the kitchen counters and re organized.  i tried so hard to not freak out.  I have to mellow out and let him help me.  I cannot be so controlling, I have to remember that.  The counselor kept telling me that, that I may emasculate him by being so controlling.  :(  Not my intention at all.  But he never takes the lead, so I do, now it's just habit.

Anyway..  I noticed I am not thinking of food all the time, and not hungry all the time as usual.  Not sure if the medicine is doing it or not.  I have not had coffee since I started the meds.  I don't feel the need for it, and I do not feel irritable and nervous.  I also have not been having a headache from not having it, which is what usually happens.  I feel good!

This morning I had Kool Aid, then water,  I had a Diet soda at around noon maybe.  Then one slice of pizza (small slice) and a piece of chicken.  I then had more water, Kool Aid and now just had half a cup of Indian rice, just so it doesn't go bad.  (and now I was a bit hungry)  I feel good about this, I am not nervous hungry anymore.  I have hopes of loosing weight! (besides my head working hopefully)